Move Over Hot Girl Summer, Spank Girl Spring Is in Full Swing

Jun 9 · 4 min read

Talk about a spring awakening… This past month was full of steamy new updates over at Spank HQ. We’re vaxxed, some of us are waxed, and we are all ready for action. Despite some ups and downs in the good ole crypto-sphere, we’re hitting (and not quitting) all our 2021 goals. Haven’t been keeping up? Have no fear, our May Newsletter is here!

News schmoose — crypto is healing (sort of)

As Captain Obvious would tell you, cryptocurrency is inherently volatile. We’re experiencing some turbulence, but it’s all part of the ride. No one gets places doing things the easy way.

For those of you panicking, keep calm and read on…

The tailspin began with a tweet from meme lord Elon Musk hating on Bitcoin fossil fuel emissions. HOWEVER (caps intended), Mr. Musk didn’t throw the market out with the bathwater, so to speak. Despite the serious shade, he followed up with diamond hands, aka. Tesla is not selling!

To add insult to injury, China did its usual bull cycle move and banned crypto — again. China also “banned Google,” so all we can say is good luck with that. Stateside, the US had its turn suggesting that crypto transfers over 10k must be reported to the IRS, just like fiat.

Unfortunate, but inevitable.

The trifecta of fear, uncertainty, and doubt brought o the worst kind of gang bang as far as markets are concerned. Of course, one week later after twisting our proverbial panties, Goldman Sach’s “leaked” that ETH will hit 18k this cycle, and top traders called for new all-time highs, effectively calling the bulls out to play. Olé!

So, all that volatility might not be so random. There are some major interests at play. No matter how much you’ve got in crypto, remember that the real winners are in this for the long haul.


Mother’s Day was also in May, so you know what that means… MILF contest! To celebrate all the hot mamas out there, we asked our community to share some mother-approved, SFW MILF content for some cash prizes.

Give it up for our first place winner, @goddessxnatalie, who took home $300! Who wouldn’t want to get spanked by this hottie?!

Let’s hear it for our runner up, @brattyboricua, who won $200! Ay caliente!

And because our mothers taught us to be generous lovers, we selected 5 more winners at random and awarded them $100 each.

Pop Shots and teasers and NFTs, oh my!

As promised, Pop Shots are currently in development. You guys have been super patient, so we’ve decided to give you a sneak-peak at this sexy content with some exclusive previews. Follow us on Twitter, and keep an eye out for #SpankPopShot to get in on the sexy pre-launch fun!

Because we’re all about putting talent first, 100% of the proceeds (minus marginal platform fees) will go to the performer. To get ‘er, we’ll be using a platform called OpenSea and using the version on Polygon (formerly Matic). Polygon is a blockchain designed to help scale Ethereum applications by connecting the two networks through a bridge. Why does this matter? It means you don’t have to pay those expensive Ethereum gas fees to trade your Pop Shot NFTs while still being compatible with the Ethereum wallets like MetaMask.

May SpankMate: Brittany Andrews

They say gentlemen love blondes. One look at our SpankMate, Brittany Andrews, and you can understand why. This bodacious babe didn’t disappoint with her classy, lingerie-clad photoshoot.

This crypto-positive MILF has been doing some pretty insane NFT work, and we’re proud to announce we’ll be creating an NFT with her soon. As Brittany told XBIZ,

We couldn’t agree more!

Check out Ms. Andrews’ profile below!

Stage name: Brittany Andrews

Hometown: Milwaukee WI

Follow her on Instagram/Twitter

What are your ambitions?

To do the next right thing, be honest with myself, find inner peace.

Any Hidden Talents?

I speak Japanese and know some Python coding.

What turns you on?

Power, Intelligence, money, 6 pack abs, a nice ass!

What turns you off?

Bad Breath, obnoxious narcissism.

Your perfect late night snack is ____.

Ice Cream

____ drives you wild.


What do you find sexy in a partner?

Not being jealous.

You may look innocent but ____.

I don’t look innocent.

Your favorite body feature is ____.

My eyes.

Name a guilty pleasure.

Amazon shopping.

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