Spank Easter: At It Like Rabbits

Spring has officially sprung, and everything’s coming up roses over at Spank HQ. Temperatures aren’t the only things heating up as we step into the new season. 2021 just keeps getting steamier as we roll out sexy new features and updates to improve our platform. Here’s the latest for those of you who haven’t been keeping up.

Friendly reminder

Spank makes it Pop!

Spank Ventures

A few weeks ago, our team was denied fulfillment on a merchandise order from The Recon Group due to “our values not being aligned”. Our CEO Ameen called to check, and our contact confirmed they were “cleaning up their brand”, and “not interested in working with any adult entertainment businesses”.

Now, this kind of discrimination against adult businesses is a common theme. The first service provider to kick us out was MailChimp, then our bank, and the list goes on. We even got denied a smart contract audit once, on the basis of our brand. Well, we feel that if the business world insists on marking adult oriented services with a scarlet letter, then we find ourselves compelled to throw a scarlet letter party. The most productive response, we decided, would be to attempt to correct a much larger discrimination against the adult industry businesses—the exclusion from capital investment.

Most of our VC friends have as part of their fund’s agreement with their investors, a “Vice Clause”, that prevents them from investing in ventures around weapons, drugs (including weed & alcohol), and adult-businesses. As a result of this systemic discrimination, capital formation, innovation, and cultural progression in the adult industry has been unfairly hampered.

Spank Ventures fixes this. Instead of avoiding the adult industry, we’re going to focus on it. We know that the sex positivity revolution is underway, we believe it’s going to shake up our world big time, and so we want to be the ones to accelerate and profit from the businesses driving it.

We are currently recruiting our first investors, so if you’re interested, please DM. Likewise, please DM if you’re an adult business looking for investment.

Easter Surprise

SpankMate of the Month

Stage Name: Lacey London

What are your ambitions? I want to say trade crypto!

Any hidden talents? I can speak 3 different languages

What turns you on? Consistency, being thoughtful

What turns you off? Hagglers, bad boys.

What’s your ultimate dream job? Day trading crypto for a hedge fund.

Your ideal late night snack is ____. Hersheyʼs pretzel bites.

What do you love to do when no one’s watching? Dance.

What drives you wild? A good smelling man.

What do you find sexy in a partner? Dominance

You may look innocent but ____. I have a construction business!

Your favorite body feature is ____. My bunny teeth.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Bacon.

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